Lovely Sins
by Rainwatch
Summary: She had chosen to save Arcadia Bay. She had chosen to let her best friend die. Were things better off like this? Would she find a better friend in this new timeline, with Kate happier and Victoria nicer? Or, even, more than just a friend? Moving on is going to be tough, but with the help of a special someone, the world can seem a whole lot brighter.


She had gone through so much to save her.

From being shot, to the railroad tracks.

She rewound time, over and over again, determined to let her live another day.

And yet, as she stood with her at the lighthouse, as she looked at the hurricane about to destroy the town, she couldn't.

Chloe was destined to die in that week.

No matter how many times she tried to save her, they were stuck there.

She was forced to choose.

The town, or Chloe.

And she couldn't save her.

She couldn't choose to let her live.

She had to let her die.

She _chose_ to let her die.

* * *

Max sat alone in her dorm room. A few cards and photos littered her desk, all about the loss of her grade school friend. Each made her happy, but at the same time sad. She missed her. She felt responsible for her death, and no one would ever understand why. No one but her. Chloe died thinking that Max had abandoned her, thinking that everyone had left her. _I should've chosen her,_ she thought, wondering where'd they be now if she had. _We could've been happy together. There had to be a way to save both her and the town. If only I'd tried harder. I could've tried harder._

A soft knock on the door pulled her away from her thoughts. She stood and opened the door, throwing on a smile when she saw Kate. Her hair was tied up in a bun, as usual.

In this reality, the video had never been posted or spread, and Kate hadn't even thought of suicide. With everything going on, the video was the last thing on anyone's mind.

"Hey Kate," Max went back to her spot on the couch, motioning her to come in.

She stepped inside, closing the door behind her. "Max… I'm so sorry,"

"I-It's okay, you didn't do anything,"

"I would've come by sooner," Kate walked over and sat next to her. "I mean, you're always there for me but I wasn't here for you when you needed it."

"You're here now, Kate," A memory of her jumping off of the dormitories flashed in Max's brain. "The past few weeks have been so hectic with everything, so I can't blame you."

"You don't need to hide your grief around me, Max," She leaned in, wiping a teardrop away from Max's cheek.

Max turned away, unaware of the tear. "I… I'm fine,"

"But you're not, Max. You've been cooped up in your dorm for almost two weeks. You tore down your 'Max Caulfield Photo Memorial Wall', and, well, Lisa died," She motioned to the dead plant underneath the window. "It's okay to grieve, Max. It's okay to feel bad. But you need to let yourself _feel_ , instead of just bottling everything up inside."

Max looked at Lisa, whose leaves were yellow and wilting from the lack of water. Her parents had given her the plant when she went to Blackwell, occasionally reminding her to water it. Of course, she forgot. Just like Chloe, she let the plant die. Max shook her head, closing her eyes. _Stop thinking like that,_ she scolded herself.

The Max Caulfield Photo Memorial Wall was a different story.

She missed seeing the photos taped up on the wall. It was just… too much at the time. She'd been mad at herself for not keeping in touch with Chloe, and the photos had reminded her of all the times that she could've at least texted her. So she took it down. Now, the instant photos sat in a shoe box under the bed.

As much as Max hated it, she had to own up to it. Kate was right. She had been avoiding the outside world, ignoring her texts. The only time she ever left the building was to get food. Everybody respected her actions, and she hadn't been called out before. Until now.

"Kate," She paused for a second, scanning the floor. "I miss her."

"Oh Max," She put an arm around her, letting Max's head rest on her shoulder.

"I left her. I never called, I never texted. I just left for five years with no contact and she died. I'll never get the chance to know how she was doing. I'll never get the chance to have fun with her again like we used to. We'll never be the Arcadia Bay pirates ever again."

"You didn't know she would die, no one could've known."

 _I knew,_ Max thought. _I could've prevented it. I should've prevented it._ She was crying by now, her tears falling into Kate's lap. "I… I never got the chance to tell her that I loved her."

"It's okay," Kate rubbed her shoulder, handing her the tissue box from nearby. "It's okay."

 _I'm a mess. Kate shouldn't have to see me like this. She probably has things to worry about, yet she's spending her time here. With me._

They sat there for a few minutes, both thinking, both feeling.

Max felt better for the first time since the hurricane. The past few weeks had been so… heavy for her, but today, in that moment, it finally felt like everything was going to be okay. Sure, things would still be sad. It'd take a long time from then to get over. But for now, it felt good, knowing someone was there. Knowing there was still people to count on.

Kate had brought things from miserable to still-miserable-but-hey-there's-hope.

And that's all Max really needed.

* * *

 _Darkness surrounded her._

 _There was nothing, just pitch black._

 _Wait, no. There was a figure in the distance. It was a person. It was_ her.

 _Her blue hair was vibrant against the dark background. She wore her usual get up: a black jacket over a white tank top, her three-bullet necklace gleaming in the darkness._

" _Chloe!" Max yelled, wanting to run up and hug her, but she was frozen, unable to move her legs._

 _Chloe walked up to her, covering the great distance in a few small steps. "Max," She whispered as she leaned in, close enough to feel her breath on her cheek. She smelled of a sweet smoke. Her cold lips slightly brushed Max's cheek as she went to whisper in her ear._

" _I… I…" Max murmured, not knowing what to do. This was a nightmare she didn't want to wake from. "I miss you."_

 _Chloe chuckled quietly, pushing her back threateningly._

 _Tears formed in Max's eyes, knowing what was about to come. She pulled her into a hug, not wanting anything to change. But she had to let go when the warm liquid stained her shirt. A hole formed in Chloe's stomach, blood spreading across her white tank top. She began to collapse, whispering five words in Max's ear before crumpling to the ground. Max backed up, shaking her head, trying not to believe them. She wanted it to be a lie, yet she couldn't get herself to believe otherwise._

" _You killed me, Max Caulfield."_

* * *

Max sat up. She had had that dream before, over and over again, yet each time she had it, it always made her heart rip in two. It always left her with a numb feeling upon waking up. She'd been sleeping on the couch, even though the bed was just a few feet away. Someone had moved the blanket from her bed and draped it over her.

"Kate," She thought aloud, standing and throwing the comforter onto the mattress. A sticky note on the door told her everything she needed to know.

 _Hey Max. It got late and I had to go work on stuff, but you were sleeping so soundly. I would've moved you to the bed but I don't really have that kind of strength. Sorry. I hope the couch was comfortable. I hope you're doing okay, feel free to stop by my dorm._

 _-Kate_

Max smiled, thinking about the day before. _Sweet, innocent Kate._

She got ready, showering and changing, grabbing her phone and camera bag. _Today's going to be different,_ she thought. _I'm not going to just sit around anymore._ Max stepped outside her room, looking around the hallway. It was a normal morning, everyone was milling about, getting ready for the day. Things were still gloomy, as Dana's music wasn't playing, nor was Kate's violin. But chatter still filled the area. People had recovered. As always, life had to go on.

"Max!" Victoria leaned against the wall, Cortney and Taylor surrounding her.

"Oh, uh, hey Victoria," Max smiled awkwardly.

"So what do you say?"

"Uh… what?"

She looked at her as if the answer were obvious. "I texted you?" She sighed. "Warren said that you liked watching movies, and you don't have a TV to watch one on, so I was just saying that if you wanted you could watch whatever on mine."

Max stopped for a second, wondering if this was the Victoria she knew.

Victoria waved her hand in dismissal, walking away. "I'm going to be gone tonight anyway. But if you do decide to take up my offer, don't touch anything."

"Th-Thanks, Victoria," Max thought of watching Final Fantasy: Spirits Within.

"Feel free to bring a friend."

And with that, she left.

 _Woah. Now that was weird. Victoria Chase just gave me permission to go into her room and use her plasma TV. I guess everyone has a nice side._ She walked up to Kate's door, knocking.

"Come on in," Kate's muffled voice called from inside.

Max entered, awkwardly standing in the doorway. Her room was clean and tidy, no clothes on the floor, nothing covering the mirror, no letters talking about being a disgraceful daughter on the road to hell. Everything was fine. A few doodles were scattered across the room, each paper bright and colorful. Max walked over to one and picked it up, smiling at the style. Each drawing had it's own story, and it was wonderful.

"These are great, Kate," She looked at the others. "Have you considered writing a children's book?"

She looked up from her desk, spinning her chair around to face Max. "Yeah, actually. I have a few ideas down, I'm just not sure if I should pursue them or not."

"You have a talent! You should share it with the world."

"I don't know…" Kate glanced at a few more illustrations sitting on her desk.

Max walked up to her, setting the other drawings on top of them and putting a hand on her shoulder. "If I've learned anything these past few weeks, it's that life is too short to question yourself. If you want to do it, do it. What's the worse thing that could happen anyway?"

She looked up at her, smiling. "I guess you're right. I'll try."

 _Of course I am,_ Max thought, happy for her friend. "Good for you, Kate."

Her phone buzzed. Kate turned back to her desk, grabbing a scratch pad and beginning to draw. Max fished the device from her pocket. It was a text from Warren.

" _Hey Max. It's been a while. (And by a while I mean a few weeks). Do you want to catch up?"_

" _Of course! Sorry I've been so distant lately. Meet u by the fountain in a few?"_

" _Yeah. See you then."_

She put her phone away, turning back to Kate. "I gotta go meet up with Warren, but quick question."

"Yeah?" Kate looked at her, setting down her pencil.

"Do you want to watch a movie tonight? Victoria said I could borrow her TV."

"I can't tonight. Sorry Max."

"It's fine."

"I bet Warren would love to, though."

"I'll be sure to ask him. See you later." She began to walk out of the room, but stopped halfway. "And Kate?"

"Mmhm?"

"Thank you. For everything."

Kate smiled. "Of course." She stood and hugged her, happy to see how she was doing. Max's phone buzzed again, ending the embrace. Kate went back to drawing, happier than before.

"See ya."

And with that, she left.

* * *

Warren leaned against the fountain, looking at his phone. He wore a blue graphic t-shirt, a pattern of chips-n-guac scattered across it.

"Hey Warren," Max sat next to him, shouldering her camera bag.

His face lit up, smiling. "Hey Max! Nice to see you."

"You too." She looked at him. "A lot's been going on."

"You don't need to tell me that. I don't live under a rock." He paused, rubbing the back of his neck. "So how have you been dealing?"

She hesitated. _Tell him the truth, Max. He's your friend._ "Uh… actually? Not so great. It's been pretty rough."

"Well that's expected," Warren rested a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You don't just go out and smile a few days after someone close to you has died."

"Yeah…" Max looked away, scanning the ground. "What have you been up to?"

"Oh, well," He blushed, scanning their surroundings. "Brooke and I kinda… uh… became a thing."

She took a moment to absorb in the information, hiding the surprised look on her face as fast as it appeared. "Good for you, Warren!"

He smiled, glad that she was happy for him. "Yeah," He sighed, a pleasant look on his face. "I'm really lucky to have her."

She pat him on the back. "Brooke's lucky to have you." They sat in silence for a few moments, soaking in the cool morning atmosphere.

"Oh, hey," Max remembered Victoria's offer.

"Yeah?"

"You want to watch a movie tonight?"

"Of course, I'd love to!"

Brooke's drone flew by ahead, stopping in front of them. Warren looked around, smiling and waving when he spotted her. She jogged up to them, remote in hand.

"Hey Max," She seemed delighted to see Warren, excited even. _Of course she is, Max. She's been crushing on him for years and now she's finally with him._

"Hi Brooke," She stood up from her spot, ready to leave. Warren reached out and grabbed Brooke's hand, swinging it with the wind. He was genuinely happy with her. _Why wouldn't he be? He agreed to be a couple._ Still, a part of Max wondered if Warren still had feelings for her. And if she just might have feelings for him.

She shook the thoughts away, returning to reality. "I better leave you two lovebirds alone,"

"Oh, okay." Warren waved as she began to walk away. "See you tonight."

"Bye,"

And then she left, a voice in her mind still wondering if anything could've happened between them.

If they could've had a future.

If they could be a thing.

She stopped halfway, looking back at the couple. They were obviously happy together. Sighing, she continued her journey, trying to shake away her jealousy of Brooke. Yet she couldn't, the one thought still pulling at her mind.

 _We could've been happy together._

* * *

She went back to her dorm, catching up with others. Zachary and Juliet had broken up, but not becuase of Victoria. Alyssa and Evan hooked up, Max not needing to save her from flying objects anymore with him around. Victoria had won the 'Everyday Heroes' Contest, after Max denied. Not a lot of people were affected in big ways. Well… except Jefferson and Nathan. And David and Joyce. And all the others who knew and loved Chloe.

Things were going to go back to normal.

Max was about to enter her dorm when she noticed everyone in the hallway watching her. Dana, Victoria, Stella, even Kate. They all tried to hide the obvious interest in Max opening up her dorm. She looked at Kate, questioning. She shrugged, going back to talking with Stella, a half hidden smile on her lips. Max sighed, wondering what the occasion was as she turned the doorknob and looked inside.

Most things were the same. Cards and pictures scattered across her desk, a dead plant, begging to be watered, even a cereal box next to the couch. But there was one thing that made her step back in surprise.

The Max Caulfield Photo Memorial Wall.

Her old photos were back up, plus a few others featuring memories. Photos of her and Chloe as the Arcadia Bay Pirates, Kate smiling as she sipped a cup o'tea, even her and Warren, just being plain nerds.

"Oh my gosh," She murmured, looking at the wall.

"I hope you're not mad at me for breaking into your room," Kate hung in the doorway, smiling.

Max approached her, pulling her into a hug. "You did this?"

"With the help of a few others." She shrugged, turning back out into the hallway. Victoria tapped her foot anxiously next to Stella and Dana, who were both grinning happily.

"Thanks, you guys. It… it means a lot."

"No problem," Dana stalked over, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Anything to see that Max Caulfield smile once again."

 _Dana worked with Victoria on something? For me? This really did mean a lot to them._

They all exchanged a few hugs, minus Victoria, who just smiled kindly. "They would've messed up the order without me," She justified herself. "I couldn't let that happen."

"Sure," Max pulled her into her arms, Victoria sighing and hugging her back. "Thanks for caring,"

"It's the least I could do."

She backed away, dismissing the group. Kate stayed as the others went back to their dorms, following Max out of the hallway and into her room. The Memorial Wall filled a hole in the atmosphere, making it warm and comfortable once again.

They sat on the couch together, talking about life and things and nothing at the same time. They both laughed at points, and they both knew each other more by the end.

"That's a nice guitar," Kate noticed after a pause in the conversation. "Do you play often?"

"I used to, but I kinda stopped after everything changed."

"That's cool. I've always wanted to learn to play guitar."

"Well, uh," Max rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. "If you wanted, I could teach you a little bit."

Kate's face lit up, nodding. "That'd be nice. Perfect, actually." And idea formed in her mind."Hey, what if, in exchange for teaching me to play guitar, I could teach you how to play the violin?"

Max hesitated, unable to see her playing such a delicate instrument. But the hopeful look on Kate's face sold her. "Deal," She smiled, still unsure of the idea.

They decided to meet up the next day and teach each other stuff, talking for a few more minutes before finally noticing the hour that had past.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Kate stood up from the couch, excited for the day to come.

"Bye Kate," She waved as she left, closing the door behind her.

Max sighed happily, pulling out her journal and sitting at her desk. She hadn't written in it in ages, ever since the funeral. But then again, she hadn't done much since the funeral until today.

" _Things have been different lately,"_ She wrote. " _Ever since Chloe's death I've had nightmares. But I think I'm doing better recently, all thanks to Kate. She's a great person and a great friend. She hasn't wanted to throw her life away. At least, I think. I haven't seen her cry for anything but the death and I'm pretty sure that's a good sign?_

" _I've been lying low for the past weeks, most of the time just staying in my room. But today everything's different. I went out to talk to Warren. Still haven't taken any pictures though. Not even one of my ever-so-famous selfies. I think I'm going to go out later, just for a walk. To soak everything in. Maybe stop by to see Mrs. Grant and the new art teacher._

" _Victoria's been nice to me, too. She allowed me to use her TV, and helped out with putting up the Memorial Wall with Kate, Stella, and Dana. She's nice, at least for now. Maybe we'll turn out to be friends? Now that's a weird thought. Max and Victoria. It makes me laugh just thinking of the possibility._

" _I'm going to see Warren tonight. Oh! Speaking of Warren, Brooke's dreams have finally come true. She and him are dating now. I don't know if I'm jealous though? I'm happy for them, of course. Good for Warren for moving on. At least we can just be friends now, without the awkward tension between us anymore._

" _I don't know what else to say so I'm just going to sign off here."_

She put her journal away, exiting the dormitories. Students still milled about, Zachary and his friends throwing around a football as always.

"Hey Max!" Justin flew by on his skateboard.

"Hi Justin," She called back, wondering if he could still hear her. He spun by again, nodding at her. He was about to pull a skateboard trick.

Quickly, Max tugged out her camera, getting ready for the shot. He smiled, winking, jumping from the ground, his skateboard flipping in mid air. She took the picture, taking the film from the camera. _Perfect,_ she smiled as she tucked it away into her bag and continued walking.

None of the teachers were around, but Samuel sat on a bench, surrounded by birds, smiling at some squirrels climbing up trees.

"Hey Samuel," She approached him, scaring some of the birds away from the bench.

"Hello Max," He watched as the birds flew away.

"I'm sorry for making them fly away,"

"Oh, it's okay," Samuel smiled at her. "Samuel hasn't seen you in a while."

"Yeah, sorry about that too," She let out a short laugh. "Would you like me to grab some seed so they'll come back?"

He smiled, nodding. "Of course. There's a pack in my closet."

Max walked off to the janitor's closet, turning on a light. There were magazines resting in some of the shelves, a stack of pictures in others. She grabbed a brown package labeled 'for birds' and was about to exit when she looked closer at the pictures. They were taken by a polaroid. The first was a picture she had taken, the one in the bathroom of the butterfly. _That's reasonable, Max. You left it there. He's the one who cleans the bathrooms. It's a nice shot. He was right to keep it._ But, digging deeper into the pile of photos, she couldn't explain how he had them, or why. There was one of her signature selfies, but of a day that never happened. Not in this timeline, at least. It was of her and Chloe in Chloe's room. The morning after they broke into Blackwell. The moments before Chloe had… dared her.

The moments before they first kissed.

She took the stack of photos, looking at each one. There weren't a lot of them, just four. There was the photo of Chloe, dancing on her bed, cigarette in hand, and then there was the selfie Warren had taken, the minutes before they stormed into the 'End of The World' party.

 _How does he have these? There's no possible way…_ She took the pictures, stuffing them into her bag.

Max grabbed a handful of birdseed, walking back out to Samuel, trying to act as if she hadn't seen anything. "Here, Samuel."

He took the seed, gently throwing it out onto the sidewalk. "Thank you, young Max."

"Well, uh, I gotta go. I'll see ya."

"Goodbye,"

She walked away quickly, thinking. _How? He's got to have some sorta power. Either him or that closet._ Max stopped, laughing at herself for the thought. _Yeah, Max. That closet_ totally _has time travel powers. And Samuel must own a sonic screwdriver and is wanted by the high priests at Gallifrey._ She shook her head, continuing her walk.

* * *

It was evening by the time she got back to her dorm. She taped up the photos, trying not to think about them. Her phone buzzed. Quickly, she took off her camera bag, grabbing the device and flopping onto the bed. It was Victoria.

" _About to leave. U gonna take up my offer?"_

" _Yeah thx Victoria"_

" _Dont break anything"_

She swiped to the text log with Warren. " _Ready to get your movie on?"_

" _I was born ready. What are we watching?"_

" _Oh, just one of the best scifi movies of all time."_

" _No. Not Final Fantasy."_

" _Warrennnnn plz"_

" _Fine. If it makes you happy. See you in a bit."_

A few minutes later, there was a knock at the door. It was Warren. They hugged.

"Glad you're finally breaking out from the cocoon," He said as they walked over to Victoria's room.

"Glad we're watching movies again."

They sat down on the floor, turning on the TV and putting in the movie. Warren rolled his eyes at some parts, Max just enjoyed film and his reactions.

The day was coming to a close. Final Fantasy ended, Warren and her talked before saying goodnight, and she went back to her room, tired.

And then, the first good day in a while ended as she drifted off to sleep.

But there, her nightmares arrived.

* * *

 _She stood in the center of nothing. All around her was just pitch black, not even a fleck of light anywhere. Of course, her punk friend was there, off in the distance, her back turned and blue hair vibrant against the devoid of color. She was sad, her tears reflecting even though there was no light to be seen. Memories of the two were splayed out around the environment, them kissing, the hurricane, even them watching a movie in the timeline where Chloe was handicapped. Max stood, her heart wanting to go back, wanting to save her, yet she knew that she couldn't._

" _You let me die, Max," Chloe's voice echoed in the void. "You left me, just like my father and everyone else. What happened to friends forever? You never even made an effort to stay in touch, even when you came back. And then you just sat there while someone shot me. While someone killed me. You weren't there for me then, you never were."_

" _This isn't real," Max choked, shaking her head as tears filled her eyes. "This is just a dream."_

 _Chloe spun around to look at her, her voice stern and filled with emotion. "You told me that you'd never leave me." Her sad laugh rung throughout the air. "Well, just look where we are now."_

 _Max covered her face with her hands. "I'm sorry, Chloe. I'm so sorry."_

"' _Sorry' doesn't bring me back. 'Sorry' doesn't do anything."_

" _What was I supposed to do?" Her voice cracked in regret. "Let the whole town die? I had to save them. I had to."_

" _You had the choice to. And you chose to let me die."_

" _I'm sorry," She shook her head, sniffling. "I'm sorry,"_

" _Have fun moving on," Chloe turned back around, walking away until she faded completely._

* * *

Max jerked awake, sitting up in her bed. She wiped tears away from her face, grabbing her old teddy bear and hugging it as she laid back down. But she couldn't fall back asleep, Chloe's voice still taunting her in her mind.

Giving up, she stood, walking over to her phone to check the time. 2:28 AM. Sighing, she exited her dorm, walking into the showers to splash some water on her face.

"Max?" A quiet voice came from the hallway. It was Victoria. She wore a purple cardigan over a white shirt, obviously coming back from some party. She stood in the doorway, leaning stylishly on the frame. "What are you doing up so late?"

"I couldn't sleep," Max replied, turning off the faucet and walking over to her. "Bad dream."

"Oh," She yawned, beckoning her to walk with her. Max did so, following her to her dorm room. "I get you."

"Yeah," Max said awkwardly, still confused on why Victoria had been so nice to her. "That's a nice cardigan," She commented.

"Oh, thanks. It's cashmere." She smiled. "You're a good person, Max. Y'know, under all that hipster crap,"

"Uh, thanks, I guess."

Victoria paused for a moment, thinking. "Would you, I mean. Well. You don't really have a definitive style, so, maybe if you want I could help you out? Go shopping together?"

Max stopped, waiting for her to laugh and walk away. But she didn't. _Is she drunk or something?_

Victoria sighed, waving her hand. "I'm just trying to be a better person. To everyone. And I think that… maybe… we could be friends. Or at least try."

"Oh, well, sure." Max nodded, happy for Victoria for at least trying.

"I'll see you tomorrow then. More like today, actually. 1:00?"

"Yeah, I'll see you then."

Victoria entered her room, closing the door behind her, leaving Max alone in the empty, dark hallway. She turned around, about to go back to her room, when another dorm opened. It was Kate. Her hair was down, reaching past her shoulders. _Woah,_ Max thought. _I've never seen Kate without her bun. She looks… cute._ She stopped, thinking about what she just thought. _Cute, Max? Cute? Really?_

"Max?" Kate's calm voice interrupted the internal scolding. "What are you doing up?"

"Nightmares," She sighed. "Couldn't fall back asleep. What about you?"

"Oh, I heard you and Victoria's voices talking loudly and it woke me up."

Max blushed. "Sorry about that,"

"Oh, no, it's fine." She looked around, hugging herself.

"You should go back to sleep, Kate," Max suggested.

"How about you?" She paused. "If you can't sleep in your room, my door's always open."

Max smiled. "I think… I'll take you up on that offer." She went back to her room, quickly grabbing her blanket and camera bag (which had her phone, journal, and camera inside) and walking to Kate, who was waiting outside. "Thanks, Kate."

"No problem, Max." They went into her room, Kate slipping back under her covers, Max laying down on the couch.

And they both fell asleep.

Together.

* * *

Max woke up to the sound of Kate's violin.

It was soft and quiet, gracefully moving to create a bittersweet melody. It'd been a long time since she'd heard Kate playing, and she had forgotten how good she was.

Max yawned and sat up, watching Kate drag the bow across the strings. She was sitting on her bed, which was already made, her hair up in the usual bun. Quickly, Max took out her camera, snapping a picture of the girl who played the violin. It looked perfect; just the right amount of shadow and light as the sun rose out the window. She stored the photo of her friend in her bag, looking back up at her. Kate smiled at Max, letting the melody flow through the atmosphere.

"'Morning Kate," Max stood, letting her blanket drop onto the couch as she stretched her arms into the air. She looked at Alice the rabbit, who was chewing on a carrot. "'Morning Alice." She hadn't had any nightmares after moving into Kate's room. It was a pleasant sleep. No tears, no sadness, just rest. And it was nice.

"Good morning, Max," Kate said, ending the song. It left a kind of emptiness in the room, leaving just the sounds of muffled conversations from the hallway and the wind and birds outside the window. She walked up to Max, holding out the violin. "Try it out,"

"Uh, okay," Max took the instrument hesitantly, nervously holding it by the neck.

"I'll teach you about the bow later. For now we can just work on the notes." She showed her the correct way to hold it, along with playing posture and the right fingerings. Max ended up actually liking the violin, even though she could never see herself playing it for real. Kate taught her an easy song in pizzicato after the basics, making sure she knew how to read treble clef and musical notation. After, they ate an unexpected breakfast together at some cafe not so far from Blackwell, just talking and eating like it was forever ago. They then hung out in Max's dorm, teaching Kate how to strum the guitar along with chords and positioning. Both were smiling throughout the entire morning, and both were having fun.

The hangout ended in Kate's room, around 12:50. Kate was sitting at her desk drawing, while Max laid down on the couch on her laptop, scrolling through social media and camera porn. Their friendship could be put simply: just each other's presence was good enough to make them both happy. Every so often, Kate would ask for her opinion on the story and drawings, and Max would help out. Max had just finished reading a blog on instant cameras when she got a text from Victoria.

" _Meet u at the fountain."_

Max sat up abruptly, slamming her laptop shut. She had lost track of time, and it was almost 1. Kate looked up from her drawing, tilting her head.

She stood from the couch. "Gotta go, but I'll see you later?"

Kate nodded slowly, still questioning. "Bye, Max. It was nice being with you today."

"You too, Kate," She grabbed her bag and laptop, opening the door. "Oh, and also."

"Yeah?"

 _Just tell her, Max. Your friends. It shouldn't be so hard to say._ "You, uh, look nice with your hair down," She said quickly as she walked out into the hallway, glancing back. "You should try it more often."

Kate blushed, touching her hair subconsciously. "Th-Thanks,"

And with that, she shut the door, both of them feeling a hole in their surroundings that could only be filled by the other.

* * *

Victoria leaned casually against a tree, glancing at Justin and his friends, who were sitting on the steps nearby, popping skateboard tricks. Before walking up to her, Max took a quick picture, tucking it away before she could notice.

"Hey," She approached her, trying to act cool. _Who am I kidding, I shouldn't try to impress her._

Victoria looked her up and down, obviously appalled by her outfit. "Yeah, you'll be glad we're doing this."

Max sighed, following her into the parking lot, where they got into some fancy car. It was silver, with dark gray seats inside. Victoria drove, music playing on the radio. A few minutes later, they arrived at the mall, where she led her into someplace called ALWAYS 18. The store was big, and most of it was for women's.

They looked around, Max grabbing a few t-shirts and showing them to her. She took them, rolling her eyes and hanging them back onto the rack. "No. You need to try something new, Max." She grabbed an empty black shirt, pairing it with a denim blue bomber jacket and dark red pants. "Try these on together."

Max looked at Victoria in disbelief. "No way," She looked back to the racks of clothes, smiling as she took out a cheap gray sweatshirt with some sort of kanji written in black on the back. "If you try this, I'll try on that."

She looked horrified by the idea of wearing something that costed less than a hundred dollars.

"If I'm trying something new, you should to," Max reasoned, taking a pair of ripped jeans to go along with it.

Victoria sighed, reluctantly taking the sweatshirt and pants. Max took the outfit Vic had thrown together, and they headed to the fitting rooms, both of them changing in dismay.

Max looked herself in the mirror, posing slightly. The pieces of clothing actually looked good on her, giving off an 'I don't really care' vibe. And she kinda liked it. She walked outside, where Victoria uncomfortably waited in her chosen style. The outfit looked good on her, almost making her look like a different person. She seemed to enjoy it, kind of.

"Woah," Max thought aloud. "I like that look on you,"

Victoria tapped her foot anxiously, blushing slightly to Max's surprise. "You look nice in that, too."

"Thanks, I, uh, kinda like it," Max commented awkwardly. They both went back to change into their normal clothes, the two of them shopping in the style the other had chosen.

By the time they checked out, Victoria had picked out two more sweatshirts, a clean black one and a pastel red with a geometrical design, and Max had chosen another bomber jacket, which happened to be a sleek black material with two white stripes lining the collar and sleeve ends. Victoria offered to pay for everything, but Max didn't want her to, feeling guilty for her clothes costing more than Victoria's. In a compromise, they decided that Max would pay for Victoria's and vise versa. Either way, they both left the mall happy.

They talked during the drive this time, as if they were old friends. When they got back to Blackwell, they parted, both of them wanting to see the other again. Both of them wanting to be closer.

Max stopped by her own dorm first, dropping off the new clothes. She was still surprised that she actually like them, but it was nice knowing that she was finally trying on something new. After, she swung by Kate's, knocking on the door. She was eating a sandwich as she answered, her face lighting up as she saw Max, beckoning her inside. Max followed, plopping her bag on the floor and sitting on the couch.

"Have you eaten dinner already?" Kate asked, gulping down the sandwich.

Max looked at the time, surprised how late it had gotten. _I spent six hours shopping with Victoria?_ "No, actually."

Kate sighed in relief, reaching into a plastic bag next to her desk and pulling out a wrapped sandwich similar to hers. "I went out to the deli but I didn't know if you'd be back in time." She handed it to her. "I was hoping you would stop by. I didn't want to have to deal with a cold, uneaten sandwich."

Max peeled the plastic, chomping into it. It was still kind of warm, and even if it weren't, it'd still be delicious. "That was nice of you. Thanks, Kate."

"No problem."

They finished their dinners, Kate going back to drawing and Max going back to her computer on Kate's bed, asking politely before lying down. When night came, Kate let her hair loose and curled up next her, sleeping soundly. Quietly, Max got up to go to the couch to sleep, but Kate stopped her. "No, it's okay," She murmured quietly, patting the space next to her.

Smiling, Max laid down on the bed beside Kate, falling asleep next to her friend.

* * *

The next week was spent productively for Max.

She hung out with Victoria somedays, others Warren, others just herself. But most of her time was spent with Kate, sometimes drinking tea and talking, other times just doing their own things in the same room. They always slept in the same room, just to help with Max's nightmares. At least that's what they told themselves. The blatant truth was that they just liked spending time together, conscious or not. Their relationship had grown immensely in just a few days, and they both accepted it. Max had also started attending school again, tuning in to the new teacher in the photography class, along with catching up in other classes. She was moving on, her life finally getting a little more normal.

But there was this one night that threw a little of that out the window.

Kate was lying on Max's bed, drawing in her sketchpad while Max sat at the desk, working on homework. Kate was wearing a blank white sweatshirt, different from her usual get up. Her and Victoria had became actual friends, strangely, and Vic had lent it to her. Music was playing, making the atmosphere more relaxed and carefree. Max sat back in her chair, spinning around to look at Kate.

"This is so boring," She groaned, so close to finishing, yet so far away.

Kate looked up at her, smirking. "C'mon Max, you can do it. I believe in you."

Max stood, shaking her head. "Life's too short to waste on algebra homework." She jumped onto the bed beside Kate, looking at her drawings. "These are nice."

Kate looked at her dryly. "Go do your homework."

"It's Saturday," Max explained. "I can finish it tomorrow."

"Then what do you expect to do now?" Kate went back to drawing. "You should get it done so you don't have to worry about it later."

Max wasn't listening, just looking at her. _I'm lucky to have her as a friend,_ she thought. _I don't know where I'd be without her. Probably alone. In my room. Sulking in grief._

"What?" Kate met her gaze. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

"You look good in sweatshirts," Max said, blushing slightly. "But you know what would make you look better?"

Kate sighed, giving up. "What?"

Max hesitated, wondering if it was the right move. _No regrets, I guess._ She reached over, undoing Kate's bun, letting her hair fall freely. "There," She murmured quietly. "Now you look cute."

Kate rolled over, sitting up, her face turning red. "C- Cute?"

Max cursed internally, scolding herself for not using a different word. "I mean like, uh, um, pretty? Adorable? Beautiful? Attra-" She stopped herself, her cheeks flushing red as she sat up next to her. "You look nice. Nice."

"Beautiful," Kate repeated quietly. Her hand subconsciously fingered her cross necklace.

"I guess I'll go back to my homework now," Max said quickly, standing up. "Those equations won't solve themselves."

"Max wait," Kate stood up, walking up closer to her.

Max turned to look at her, scared of what was about to go down. _Kate's Christian, idiot. You don't even have a chance with her._ "I'm sorry Kate, I didn't mean to make things weird I just think that you look really nice with your hair down and with that sweatshirt and I thought maybe I should say something you don't have to do anything we can go back to normal you're such a great friend and I don't want to lose you because of some stupid comment I know that we'll never be more than friends I was just in the-"

"You're cute when you're afraid," Kate stopped her, pulling her into a kiss. It felt like the world had slowed down, the music fading away until it was just the two of them. Her lips were warm and sweet, and she could feel her pureness in the touch. Their surroundings had melted away, leaving just the two of them. It felt like something was completing her, giving her something that she hadn't known she'd been longing for. Like she'd been drowning, and this was a breath of fresh air. It felt so refreshing, so clean and pleasant and wonderful.

But it felt wrong.

Max pulled away, looking at her. _What just happened._

Kate stepped away, looking down at her necklace.

"We can't do this," Max said, her heart yelling at her to shut up. "You can't do this. You're a part of the church, Kate."

"I know," Her voice was quiet, almost too quiet to hear. "I know,"

"I don't want to ruin things for you," Max looked at her. "I don't want you to throw a part of you away, just for me."

Kate grabbed Max's hands, looking up at her. "That's not your choice to make." She whispered. Max could tell that Kate knew what she was doing. She could tell that a part of Kate wanted to give up on the relationship and stay friends. But she could also tell that she longed to be more. That she wanted to be with Max, that she wanted to at least try. A part of her didn't care about her religion.

Max watched as Kate took off her necklace, placing it on the couch. She tried to interject, but Kate wouldn't listen. Kate didn't care what Max thought in that moment. She didn't care what anyone thought. She kissed Max on the cheek, whispering in her ear.

"This is what I want,"

"You sure?"

She hesitated, answering by meeting her lips, her hands running through Max's short hair. Max kissed her back, leaning into her. Kate pushed her into the bed, gently throwing her sketch book onto the floor. Their lips parted, and they just held each other as if they were going to float away. Max could feel Kate's heart rate slow, her breathing steady. She was so sweet. So cute. So pure. Max wanted to protect her from everything. She didn't want to lose her. Not like Chloe. She'd already messed that up. Kate had chosen her. And Max had chosen Kate.

There are some things that just need to happen. Whether they're wrong or right. Good or bad. Maybe Kate loving Max was against how she lived. Maybe Kate loving Max was a sin. But maybe not all sins are that bad. It was in the name of love, after all. It was what they wanted, what they both needed. Even if it was wrong.

It was still wonderful.

It was still lovely.

In fact, it was a lovely sin.


End file.
